Partner and family support

It can be very complicated if someone close to you abuses drugs or has mental health problems. Chances are you have to deal with difficult behaviour. Partner and family support might be able to help you.

You can talk about it with the experienced coaches of partner and family support. We will listen to your story and together we can look for a better way to deal with the problems in your life. We also provide support and information on addicted and mentally disturbed behaviours. Of course we will keep your story confidential.

No longer alone

With more than 30 years of experience we advise and support where possible. There are no ready-made solutions, but together we will work on improving your situation. Partner and family support empowers people.

Below you can read the stories of some of the people we supported.

Els, partner of a gambling addict
Hatice, mother of a youngster addicted to cannabis
Dorien, wife of an alcoholic

Contact

Don’t hesitate to contact us. In an introductory meeting we can decide if and how to proceed together.

Call us: +31 20 531 76 00

Els, partner of a gambling addict

A love relationship with a gambling addict isn’t easy. This too is Els’ experience. For years she carried the burden of her partner Hans’ addiction until she became deeply depressed. The well-intended advices of family and friends: ‘break up with him already, you deserve so much better’, is easier said than done. She loves him and often enough he is incredibly sweet to her.

For years she has tried her best, but without result: she’s exhausted, desperate and financially ruined. Yet she cannot end the relationship. Eventually she decides to look for help and knocks on our door. This proves to be a turning point in her life. Suddenly it is no longer about whether or not she should end the relationship, but about herself. It is about her feelings for Hans and what it is she wants in her life. This is exciting; she is so used to worrying about Hans that it feels awkward to talk about herself. Thinking about how she should live her own life is something completely different from trying to change Hans’ behaviour.

She is shocked to recognize herself in a book by Robin Norwood ‘Women who love too much’. It turns out there is a name for her own behaviour: co-dependency. We advise her to join a peer support group, where she discovers she is not the only one with such problems, and she finds strength in the shared experiences of her peers.

Gradually her behaviour towards Hans has changed. She clearly communicates her own needs and arranges more for herself and less for Hans. She also stopped acting as a safety net for his behaviour. Noticing this change, Hans realizes he might lose her if he does not change his old behaviour. Will Hans’ behavioural change suffice? Only time can tell. But through our dialogue Els has become a stronger and happier person. She has regained control over her life. She has come to realize that she cannot save Hans; he’s the only one who can do that and in some way this feels like a relief.

Hatice, mom of a cannabis addicted teenager

Lately Mohammed has been a real menace at home. He does not adhere to any of the house rules, at times he is incredibly reclusive and then suddenly really wound-up. There were lots of fights and the whole family was falling apart. Hatice tried everything, but nothing seemed to work. Mohammed came and left whenever he felt like it, hung around with dodgy people, dropped out of school, stole money out of her wallet, and even emptied his sister’s piggy bank. Hatice was terribly embarrassed that she had such problems raising her eldest and didn’t really dare to talk about it with anyone. Her brother had already tried to fix it with a strict approach, but as soon as his uncle left the house Mohammed continued to do as he pleased.

Eventually the court intervened, after Mohammed committed yet another criminal act. The police told Hatice about the possibility to get help. She called us and throughout the first appointment she stayed reserved. However, gradually she opened up and talked about her own upbringing, raising children by herself, societal pressures and her concerns for Mohammed. She learned to change her attitude towards Mohammed. She had a conversation with him about everything that was bothering him and learned to not only point out his rights, but also his duties. She should not only say wise things, but also act upon them, act like a mother with authority and not like the insecure woman that lost control. She started discussing with the psychosocial supporters of Mohammed. All these changes cost her a lot of effort, but still they worked. There was a lot less unrest in the house and the other children flourished. And Mohammed? The situation is not ideal, but better than before.

Dorien, wife of an alcoholic

Domestic violence is two words describing a hidden world. Dorien knows all about having an alcoholic husband with aggressive tendencies. The third time she had to go to her GP for her injuries she could no longer hide it. She finally answered the concerned questions of her doctor and told him what was going on at home: his aggression, his alcohol addiction and his reluctance to get help.

Her doctor referred her to the Rainbow Group, where she discovered a sincere interest for her doubts, worries, fears and embarrassment, while all the time she thought it was her husband who needed help. After a couple of conversations she relaxed a little and she became aware of what it was she wanted.

She has decided to file for divorce. This is a very difficult decision, but thanks to the Rainbow Group’s support she has found the strength to take such a step. Most importantly she did not feel judged by the Rainbow Group, but felt encouraged to take her own decisions, whatever they may be.

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