Ysatis (28): "Before I met this woman, I did not know the world of a refugee"
"I was eager to add depth to my life by connecting with people outside my familiar bubble. My first buddy was a younger girl with issues on the autistic spectrum, she lacked connection and I was able to support her in that. My second buddy is a Syrian woman who only, it seemed, didn't speak the Dutch language yet. So I visited her twice: chatting, drinking tea and walking...
.More to come
.The third time she indicated that in her relationship - she came here to get married - things were not going well. The fourth time I was to visit her, she called me from the police station that things were really not going well. Her husband had thrown her out on the street.
From the cabinet to the wall
She was sent from pillar to post. If you don't have an EU passport and the reason you are here - the marriage - ceases to exist, in one blow you have nothing left. I had no idea this was so intense.
She finally managed to reach an acquaintance of hers, who also speaks Arabic, and she was able to sleep there. Then I helped her move there on a Friday night. This place was by no means ideal: in the attic, those people also already had three children. But she was under roof for a while. She is now in a refugee shelter in Rotterdam. We are still in contact via audio files and 'Google Translate'. We can't really call her, she doesn't speak enough Dutch or English.
Costs little, brings a lot
.Yes, all very intense. I did not know the world of the refugee. Once again, she is starting from scratch: in a shelter, in a foreign country, with no marriage and no home. I can't do much more for her than maintain contact, if only for distraction and a less feeling of loneliness. I get back from my coordinator at De Regenboog Groep that our contact does her good. And that's better than nothing. That's how it was with my first buddy: it takes very little time, but it brings a lot to the people who need it."
Text: Sander Kersten and Jola Gosen | Image: Tessa Posthuma de Boer
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