Adrienne Garber - got a buddy through the Amsterdam Friends Services
When she was depressed for a period in her life, Adrienne Garber got a buddy through the Amsterdam Friends Services. She knows better than anyone else how to help someone who is depressed: "Don't come up with all kinds of solutions right away. Better not even. Just being there is enough."
"I no longer functioned well after the divorce. I was very passive. Call it depressed. I was even institutionalized for a while. When I got out of the institution, a friend gave me a five-day mosaic course as a gift. That was really a turning point. I started doing things again. Fun things.
At the same time, I got a buddy from the Amsterdam Friends Services: Saskia. She did her job so well. She didn't tell endless stories, she made tea. So nice when someone does that for you: making a cup of tea. She helped me put things in order. In the house and with my administration. I even keep the records of my four children now. That was unthinkable before. Saskia took a very subtle approach. That was her strength. She instructed me without directing. She would say: maybe it would be an idea to clean up your room this week. I did that and it worked! It gave peace.
As a rule, people take a wide bow around someone who is depressed. They can't do anything with it. The joke is: you don't have to deal with it either. Just being there is enough, just holding someone's hand, putting on some music. The biggest mistake you can make is wanting too much or imposing your own pattern. You don't have to immediately come up with all kinds of solutions when someone is depressed. Rather not even. Better to talk about everyday things. I feel better now than ever."
"My buddy wasn't going to tell umpteen stories, he was going to make tea. So nice when someone does that for you: makes a cup of tea."