Hanna fled Ukraine with her two sons, learned Dutch, and now drives a forklift at a home improvement store. She has a new life. Our buddy program, which pairs volunteers with newcomers who could use some extra support, plays a major role in this. Newcomer Hanna is immensely grateful to her buddy Elfanie for helping her become more and more herself in a different world.
We’re in a slightly trendy café in one of the new neighborhoods in IJburg. Elfanie, a journalist for *Het Financieele Dagblad* and a volunteer, is here. Hanna, who fled Ukraine three years ago, is here too. Coffee has been ordered. And bitterballen. The obvious question: “Of course it’s terrible there, but why did you flee?” Although Hanna says she’s nervous about the interview, her answer is clear and forthright. “Two of my brothers were in the army and died in the war with the Russians. My ex wanted to live under Russian rule. I didn’t.” This is her characteristic determination. Hanna sums up the story of her escape as “very difficult.” Once she arrived in the Netherlands with her two sons, her priorities were clear: getting to know the people and the country, mastering the language, and finding work. “With my buddy,” says Hanna, placing her hand on Elfanie’s arm.
A really nice buddy
Buddy programs come in many forms. For example, you can go for a walk with someone struggling with addiction, help an Amsterdam resident become more digitally literate, do fun things with a young person, or support a newcomer. Elfanie chose the latter. “I’ve wanted to do some kind of volunteer work for a long time,” she says, “and there are a lot of Ukrainians being taken in in my neighborhood. I kept wondering, who are these people, really? How do they live? What do they need? After I signed up with De Regenboog Groep, I quickly got a call saying, ‘We have a really great buddy for you.’ And that turned out to be true.” Hanna laughs and hugs Elfanie.
Elfanie (left) and Hanna (right)
Helped with everything
Of course, it’s interesting to know how a buddy pair works in practice. Elfanie explains that Hanna prefers to take care of everything herself, doesn’t ask for help lightly, and loves treating others to coffee and apple pie at a café. But Hanna has a long list of “help-I-got-from-Elfanie” ready to share. “Getting started in the Netherlands was pretty tough,” she says. “Everything you have to take care of. Forms you have to fill out. Which bus stop to get off at. A customer at the hardware store who wants something they don’t have and gets angry. Not a day went by without Google Maps and Translate. But ever since I’ve known her, Elfanie has helped me with everything. Even when my son had to go to the hospital. With learning Dutch. And she raised money at her job to buy supplies for my third brother, who’s in the army. So much.”
Friendship
A friendship has clearly blossomed. “We just clicked,” they both say. And you can tell. “Even though our circumstances are very different, in a way we lead the same kind of life,” says Elfanie. “We’re both in our forties with teenage kids, a busy job, and an ex. So we just have so much to talk about.” “And,” Hanna adds, “we’re both always tired.” Which prompts a mutual burst of laughter.
Elfanie continues: “I can imagine that things don’t automatically go as well for everyone as they do for us. But you get a lot out of it either way. Take that war over there, for example—it easily remains a rather abstract concept in your life. Getting to know Hanna brought it much closer to me. And war is, of course, misery, but if you share a bit of it and can find something positive to counter it—how should I put it…—that does a person good.”
Hanna talks about her sons, one in high school and one at maritime college. They’ve found their place. One of them just brought her a miniature Eiffel Tower from Paris. “You have to find your place,” she says. “They’ve managed to do that. And me? Elfanie and I do very ordinary things, too. We talk, we complain, we go to the movies, we drink coffee at a café… Being with someone else makes you stronger. It helps you become more of who you are. You learn to speak your mind again.”
Text: Gijs de Swarte | Photos: Ewa Wielgat | Editor: Jola Gosen