ERVARINGSWIJZER: LEARNING FROM EVERYDAY EXPERIENCES

Ervaringswijzer is a working project of De Regenboog branch SCIP: of and for people with psychiatric vulnerabilities. It provides a learning environment in which participants turn their everyday experiences into expertise. Not the big problems or traumas are the focus, but rather the everyday, because there is surprising wisdom in that. We speak wisdom researcher and trainer of this SCIP project: Herman Snijders.

Every Monday, Ervaringswijzer participants share what they have experienced and choose a theme together. On Tuesday they delve into that topic, and on Wednesday they learn how to deliver a training on it: from story construction to attitude and presentation. At the end of the week, they provide part of the workshop on the chosen theme. Thus they grow step by step in using their own experiences purposefully to support others.

"They plumbs me, because they think: oh, that one stumbles through life just like us."

The group is guided by Herman Snijders, who is as open as the participants. "Because of that, they plumbs me," he laughs. "They see: oh, who stumbles through life the same way we do." After which he continues more seriously: "People sense that I have also been through what I need to go through. I allow myself to be vulnerable and share my own difficult moments. They appreciate that."

What you do with it

Amervaringswijzer is not about serious problems; that's what professional counselors are for. Here it's about seemingly small things. You walk into a community center and feel that you are being looked at oddly. How do you deal with that? Or you say something to your partner that is totally wrong. How do you deal with that? Herman: "It is precisely the everyday experiences-whether they are your own or someone else's-that teach us a lot. It's not so much about the experience itself, but what you do with it. What wisdom can you get from an everyday event?"

"When you don't have to go anywhere, there's all kinds of things to discover."

Not from a book

We live in an age of the engineerable human being. Thus self-help books are in great demand, including among the people Herman counsels. But, he says, "You can't get certain wisdom from a book. Sometimes you need people who are in a similar situation and want to talk about their experiences. It becomes interesting when what someone experiences themselves clashes with what he or she has been told by others. Then interesting insights often arise. For example, we once had a participant who earned her bachelor's degree thanks to an internship with us, even though her psychiatrist had said, "You better not study, or you'll get confused. The participants often faced setbacks. Sometimes they had to let go of the future vision of 'becoming' -an education, a job." As a result, the focus shifts more to a person's "being. "That's where I put the emphasis: not on what you have to become, but on the qualities you already had. Our motto is: if you don't have to go anywhere, there's all kinds of things to discover." Herman points to the trees outside. "No one says: this tree is better than the other. They each have their place. The same is true for you. You just have to look at yourself differently. And you learn that by sharing experiences. You become wiser by being open to other perspectives."

Wiser from each other

Herman uses his own experiences as a booster for the experiences of others. "One time it was about the question: should you solve your problems yourself or ask for help? Then I talk about my experiences with social workers and coaches, such as that I find the click with someone very important. Then others also loosen up. It is a group process. I offer a framework, but I don't tell how things are; we become wiser from each other." In doing so, practicing with recognizable situations is very important. "You can read a book about assertiveness, but only by practicing will you notice what you need in practice. We do this on Wednesdays in the trainer group. For example, by working with a role-play in which an angry neighbor rings the doorbell. Then you speak not only to your head, but also the wisdom of your body. By standing firmly, for example."

"We discuss a different theme each week, but actually we only give one workshop: daring to think and act differently."

Between two extremes

"So for us it's about how you deal with everyday situations. A researcher I worked with defined wisdom as: dealing with uncertainty in life-wide dilemmas; situations in which you don't clearly know which way things will go. There are all kinds of rules of thumb for this. An important one for me is that wisdom often lies midway between two extremes. That brought me to my interest in Tao and polarity management. People often choose one pole in such a duality. For example: the power of vulnerability and being open about yourself. But there are disadvantages to that. The same goes for keeping a mask on: that too has advantages and disadvantages. In exploring and weighing these different sides, I try to bring out people's experiential wisdom. And across the different themes I look for underlying principles. That is a process. Although we discuss a different theme each week, we actually only give one workshop: daring to think and act differently."

More information about Ervaringswijzer

On www.ervaringswijzer.nl you can read more about this SCIP project and its resulting activities.