We often hear from volunteers how volunteering at De Regenboog Groep deepens and enriches their lives. Whether you help out at one of our walk-in centres or are a buddy of someone who could use it, one thing is for sure; your life gains many stories! Like this story, from Corine Wessel. After 22 years, she still thinks back on her time as a buddy of AIDS patient Rob. "This was life in its rawest form."
Twenty-six years old she is, when Corine Wessel responds to a call from De Regenboog Groep seeking buddies for AIDS patients. Six weeks of training later, she became Rob's buddy. An experience that stays with her to this day. "It was an adventure. I was there for him, but I also got a lot out of it myself."
An extraordinary match
."Rob was in his early 40s, I was 26. He was hooked, I wasn't even drinking a beer yet. He was strong, proud, a biter who got everything done and never sat around feeling sorry for himself despite everything he went through. He completed another education when he was already sick and went on to educate young people about drug use. In some ways he was a real junkie, but above all: a beautiful human being."
Taboo
"There was a big taboo around AIDS in the 1990s. Many people were afraid of the disease, and that caused patients to become isolated. For example, Rob noticed that people didn't want to touch him. I always took a handkerchief to wipe away the thrush from the corners of his mouth. I thought that was dirty too, but I got over that. If I were that sick myself, I would really appreciate someone being nice to me."
A story behind every addiction
."I looked up Rob every week for four years and we would go out together. I went to the most crazy places with him. We swabbed across the Red Light District on our bikes, and along the way he would point out to me where the drug houses were. I saw all the murder and burn pubs in Amsterdam. I sat there, totally pale, among the penoze. Sometimes he was basing in front of me and he kept dropping out. Very surreal. Around him people were also dying all the time. Nice people, who often didn't make it in society because they were so sensitive. Of course they got something hard on them because they were thrown out everywhere, but they showed me that behind an addiction there is always a story."
'That was a close call'
"Rob obviously knew what to expect, but we didn't talk much about that. I watched him slowly deteriorate. He became very thin, ended up in the hospital several times, and one day he went into cardiac arrest while I was sitting next to him. His face cramped up. Then he relaxed and turned completely white. Right after that he opened his eyes and said, 'So, that was close.'"
Farewell
."I could have stayed more at a distance as a buddy, but I'm not like that. And I think that's what made it such a special experience. On his last day, I went to see him to say goodbye and then we grabbed each other's hands. Being Rob's buddy was one of the most special things I've done in my life. When I had to tell about a great memory at work the other day, I came back to this. I got to walk the last bit with him. This was life in its rawest form. After all these years, when something goes against me or fails, I still think of Rob."