HEALING ART WITH AN EXPERT BY EXPERIENCE

HUIDTEKEN: HEELP WENDELA, AND NOW ALSO OTHERS

On a Saturday every other week, they get together, the women of the recovery group Skin Drawing. They do so under the guidance of Wendela de Beaufort: artist and expert by experience. Together they take a creative and loving look at their own scars, for example those caused by self-harm, operations or other events.

Not feeling well

Wendela recounts one of those special Saturdays. "A woman was very bothered by a scar in a visible spot. Then we all used the same picture of her scar to make a drawing. The woman thought she was walking around with an alarmingly large spot. But after looking at the seven drawings of the others in the group, she left that Saturday lighter. It was her perception that made the scar so large. That distorted perception is something universal; everyone recognizes it."

The Loving Draughtsman

When asked if it is not actually painful to focus on your damaged body, Wendela responds, "While drawing, we are not concerned with the scar, but with creating beautiful images. It's just like model drawing. At first you see a naked person with distinctive features. But once you start working, your attention goes to the light, proportions and composition. In doing so, it is as if a transparent layer -a film- comes between you and the subject. You look lovingly at your skin and yourself because you want to make a beautiful drawing. Photographs and mirrors, they don't look lovingly, as the draughtsman does."

One of all as an experiencer

The conversation about how drawing helps with recovery continues as Wendela sits up straighter and says, "I did a huge drawing of my damaged skin and exhibited and sold the work. I think this is a giant compliment." She beams at this. In the group, participants often become more open. Mainly because they feel safe there and everyone in the group knows the stigmas and how unjustified they are. There is a lot of shame among the women about their injuries. Wendela: "They also see that I am terribly damaged and therefore I am one of them in everything. That has great value. I know what it is like to see your scars for the first time with attention. I can really relate. It's not all heavy. There is also a lot of lightness. Maybe that's because of the tea, cookies and music on Saturdays," she adds, laughing.

More than scars alone

At the end of the meetings, the women discuss the work with each other. Of course, the scars are not always looked at fondly; sometimes someone is actually angry or sad. "It is not an exclusivity to have a scar," Wendela rushes through the words in a way that betrays that she has said it many times before. After which she continues thoughtfully again: "It's about what you have with your own body; what you struggle with. These can also be parts of your body that you are insecure about or that are connected to an intense experience. Those, too, can be the subject of a drawing."

Experienced and knowledgeable

Wendela emphasizes that she is not a psychologist and the recovery group is not a therapy group. "To make sure participants' expectations are right, I conduct an intake interview with everyone." Expertise in experience means that you have experienced things yourself, but also how you have emotionally distanced yourself from them and can see what others need, she explains. "Only because I have space for the other, I can guide this group as an experience expert. And they notice that, too. In the group there is room to listen and respond from one's own experiences, for recognition and encouragement and the occasional hug. For anything else, there is a psychologist. But of course no one ever goes home upset."

To join too?

Do you think the recovery group could help you? There is still room for a few women.

• Mail: huidtekenen@scipweb.nl